Thursday, September 27, 2018

#100YEARS

In 2020, we will celebrate 100 years of women's right to vote in the United States of America. It took almost 100 years for activists and reformers to win this right, and it was not an easy battle. For nearly 100 years now, women have had a voice in our government and in society. We have been, at least on paper, afforded equal rights with men. And yet, every single woman I know has been dismissed many times in her life as "less". Women are often perceived as less believable, less capable, less worthy, and less essential than men. A woman's suffering is often perceived as less important than a man's career or successes. We are shamed, blamed, and dismissed around this country every day, in virtually every setting.

I submit to you that men and women can work together to change this. This is not a Democratic issue or a Republican issue. It is a human issue. In the days and years ahead, we need to cast our votes ONLY for candidates who fully support a society in which all men and all women are valued equally. We must put this as our number one requirement on any candidate, before other policies, not just by lip service, but by actions. Only then will candidates come forth who can be counted on to value all of us. If this issue, equal value of every citizen, is not at the forefront of our minds and reflected in our votes, we will remain a divided society for another 100 years. I believe that there are enough men of integrity, and enough women of courage to change this culture, and by the time we reach that 100th anniversary, we will be on our way to being a society where each human being is valued for their contributions and also expected to conduct themselves respectfully toward each other at all times, regardless of age, sex, race, or economic standing. We owe this to ourselves, and we owe it to our daughters, sisters, granddaughters, mothers, nieces and friends. Not another #100YEARS can go by. The time is now.

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

September 4th, a birthday

On this day, two of the most beautiful and influential women in my life were born.

The first one I knew was my Nanny. She was a complex woman who wrote everything down. She had notebooks full of to-do lists, funny sayings she wanted to remember, and even outlines for the things she wanted to talk to people on the phone about. She loved to read, and as a result, had one of the most extensive vocabularies around. She loved to be outside working in her garden or flower beds. She had a green thumb like no one else I ever knew. She loved the song "Earth Angel", and she had a wonderful sense of humor with a bit of a goofy streak. She worked very hard and planned her days so that she could take a little nap after lunch even though she was the youngest grandmother I ever knew. But most important, at least to me, she believed I was wonderful. She was my second mother, and one of my dearest friends, and we had our own special world between us. I miss singing happy birthday to her at the park, which was her favorite place to have a party. I miss picking a particularly obscure word and the two of us using it repeatedly throughout the day just for fun. I miss how she used to pinch the people she loved, and how my name sounded when she said it out loud...especially when I was purposefully aggravating her and she threw in my middle name...which incidentally was derived from her name, Linda. I know her love is with me still, but it's hard to be without her every day.

The second lady, who shared this birthday with my Nanny, was Joyce. She was the woman responsible for giving me such a wonderful husband. She had taught her son to be kind to women, and to be gentle and caring. She taught him that women were to be respected and revered, and she even taught him to put the toilet seat down! But more than that, she was a friend to me. She gave me a job for the summer, let me live in her house, and we drove to work together every day, without ever getting tired of each other. (Ok, if she got tired of me, she never said, so I'm just going to assume our feelings were mutual.) We had a lot of laughs, and a few good cries. She loved Tim and she loved me, and she didn't try to interfere with our relationship or with our choices, but always supported us and cheered us on. And when Bre came along, she was a very proud Mimi who always wanted to hear about what she was up to and have a laugh or tell funny stories about times before she was born. I lucked out in the mother-in-law lottery, and I have said so from day one.

The funny thing about these two women, is that they shared a birthday, they shared kids and grandkids, and in recent years, even shared a home. When my Nanny had to have radiation and chemo, Joyce kindly opened a room in her home to her, and they became closer than they'd ever been before even through years of shared family events. I know that time meant a lot to both of them.

So today, just for a moment, I'd think of them having a big old slice of "better than sex cake" together in heaven, along with my uncle Tony who adored them both. Happy Birthday Nanny and Joyce. I love you always.